Week 4.....Tors and Falcons on a collision course!
Week 4 has came and gone. Although it was marred by some administrative controversy, several good games were played. Division 1 and Division 2 leaders Galveston Ball and Jones both held off some close calls from the two Aldine schools and dominated its other opponents setting up a Week 5 Showdown for league supremacy. Due to me being super busy this week I was not ablee to recap the games like I normally do, but here are the updated statistics as well as the Donkey and Plays of the Week embedded.
Thanks-
DUH DUH DUH...DUH DUH DUH!!!!!!! Well after all the issues this week and breaking news from the secret society and the random acts of funds disappearing, I can finally drop the top 10 and not get ignored. I finally have enough material to make it happen so here goes nothing. LEGGO
10. This one will have to go to Deidra J. Shepherd from big IKE. First of all, the only reason it is number 10 is because no detail was given but a female took flight on a diving catch to end the inning has to be recognized. Good shit Shep. Wish I knew what actually happened so I could hype it up.
9. This one is going to G-Ball. Yeap I said it. The whole got damn squad. They are beginning to take this triple threat shit entirely too damn far far far. Last week they were killing them with the back to back to back gun downs by F.j. Charles. Now they are having a home run derby on folks. Cedric Gonzales Sr, Michael Courville, and Rebert Champs Mack dropped Bombs over Bell-error. Now how you get burned 3 times in one game is a mystery to me. How about back the hell up or something. WOW is all I can say. G-Ball is still laughing and shaking their head at you guys.
8. Tramaine Tru Groves of Joooonnnneeesss showed no love to IKE this week. This dude is half man, half super hero from that dive. It was the final inning right. Score was 3-2. Yeah, this game was tighter than frog coochie. Ike had a man on trying to tie this game up. Kicker comes up with one out, Kicks a screamer but it's foul right. Tru was like Eff your foul ball, dove over the line, and snagged it mid air. I heard his arms looked like old buddy from street fighter. That made it 2 outs. IKE still had a chance with the next kicker but that damn Ding Bat popped the damn ball up. Game over. Tru saved the day.
7. This one goes to yo boy Brandon Hollywood-Hall. The score was literally 1-0 against Sterling. I'm not sure what was wrong with us Colts at the time but I think we were still pissed from getting fucked by the Secret Society. Hollywood comes up to kick, ball is pitched, and a who shot Johnny was kicked to right field Hollywood turned on the after burners and it was a race to home plate. The ball was thrown home but too much, too little, too late cause Hollywood has officially crossed home plate. This set a fire under his team mate that not even Tim could extinguish. Worthing took off after this and ended up run ruling the Raider. OK that really felt awkward talking about myself like that.
6. Tack Minor, this ones for you. BTW was getting slaughtered by Westbury 5-1. Tack comes up to kick with 2 runners on base ball is pitched and BUUUURRRNNNNN. Adam Watson Sr. could do nothing but watch it fly. A 3 shot Home run to make the score 5-4. Tack comes up to kick again and history has officially repeated itself. The Tack attack reloads and fires another Cannon to put the nail in the coffin making it a final of 6-5. Somebody give that man a beer.
5. Kimberly Young from Joooonnneeesss must have ate her Wheaties before she came to the park cause she put on a defensive display of excellence. Fast ass Collis Smith Sr. from Yates kicks a nice grounder towards second and turned on the burners. He just knew he was safe but Kim had other plans. She hummed his ass out at first leaving him with that WTF look on his face. Yo ass ain't that damn fast Collis. ApparentlyMichael White didn't get that memo cause He was on first base. The Next kicker kicks a shot to the outfield and mike turned on that speed. Outfield relays the ball in but wait, Mike is not stopping at 2nd. Kim notices this, catches the ball, turns around and let that bullet fly. Right before Mike's leg touches 3rd, Boom!!! She pops his ass for the 3rd out. He turned and looked at Kim as if he wanted to say YOU MUTHA PHUKA LMAO. Great Work Kim.
4. Travanna Lisa Ray Lewis also known as Choo Choo Train of BTW showed the true meaning of never give up. Lamarque was in desperate need of rally because they was down 5-3. Sean Hunt (Big Poppa) kicks a shot between 1st and 2nd. Travanna Lisa Ray Lewis is only 4 foot 8.5 inches tall to begin with. She somehow slips down on her knees but with one more major effort, she manages to extend out from her knees and made a perfect tip drill to first base for the out. How the hell she managed to do that, nobody will ever know. I think she shocked the shit out of herself. Good shit lady.
3. Ole Childish ass G-Ball with this triple threat shit strikes again. This time it was with a triple play. Runners on 1st and 2nd from Bel-Error again and 0 outs. Ball is kicked on a shot to 3rd and F.j. Charles snags it. Then he shoots it to 1st for the second out. Rebert Champs Mack notices that 2nd base didn't tag and sends it to 2nd for the 3rd out out out. They are taking this triple threat shit too damn far. Bel-Error is still confused on what took place. It's called tagging up people.
2. Derrick Williams of Joonnneeess plant game is mean. Ike comes up to kick. The ball is pitched and a perfect shot up the middle was kicked. D Will makes a break on the ball but realizes that Tim Bolds has tipped the ball in the complete opposite direction. D Will is already damn near full speed but he plants his feet coming to a complete stop, turns around a full 180 degrees, Dives the other direction, and made the catch for the out. I couldn't believe my eyes. Most people would have pulled 13 different muscles but he pulled it off. Shits CRAZY SON!!!!!!!
1. Tim Bolds and Derrick Williams of Jooonnneees takes the number 1 spot this week. Everybody knows that the Short Stop for yates is a little quick bastard. That's why I call him a lil power ranger. Well the power ranger got embarrassed this time. He was on 2nd base. Yates kicker send a shot to the outfield and it's caught for the out. Power Ranger immediately takes off with the tag up. He makes it safe to third. By this time, the Ball is relayed in to D-Will as the cut off and the Power Ranger is not stopping. He takes off home. D-Will notices this and Grabbed that 50 Cal Sniper Rifle. He Fires a shot to Home. Tim looked like Vince Carter as he took flight into the air catching the ball. The Power Ranger Notices that he's been made and on a last ditch effort, he slides in for home plate. Tim looks down at him like Dafuq you think you're going and before he even comes down from the sky, He lets go a 2 handed spike busting him in his back for the out. The Entire Jones team got down on their stomach, started crawling towards Yates, took aim and them and shot the lions down. That shit was sweet and cold hearted at the same damn time.
This has been your top 10 plays for this week. I'm Hollywood and I'm outta here. PIECE!!!!!!!!!!!
WELL, WELL, WELL!!!!! THA DONKEY IS BACK, BUT A DAY LATE. IT SEEMS AS IF EVERYBODY WANTS TO KEEP QUIET OR DON'T WANT ME TO POST THE DONKEY. STOP WITHHOLDING INFO BECAUSE YOU ARE AFRAID TO BE MENTIONED IN THE DONKEY. I AM A SUSPICIOUS FELLA, DON'T TRUST NONE OF YA, SO BELIEVE ME, IMMA FIND OUT THE TRUTH. WHEN I DO, I WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE MENTIONED IN THE DONKEY. LOL. IT WAS AN INTERESTING WEEK AND ONE THAT SILENCED KU FOR THE LONGEST TIME EVER DURING THE KICKBALL SEASON. THEN SUDDENLY, BOOOOOOOOM, THINGS EXPLODED, ASSES WERE KICKED AND THE DONKEY INFO WAS HELD HOSTAGE. SO WITH THAT BEING SAID, THESE TEAMS AND PEOPLE ARE YOUR DONKEY CANDIDATES FOR THE WEEK.
1) YATES
COME ON MANNNNNNN. YALL WENT OUT AND GOT THE USA TRACK TEAM AND STILL GETTING THE BRAKES BEAT OFF OF YALL? I BEEN TELLING YALL FOR YEARS THAT IT AINT THE CALIBER OF PLAYERS THAT YALL HAVE, IT'S THE COACHING. IT STARTS FROM THE TOP. I HEAR THAT GREG AND CORY ARE THE COACHES, SOOOOOO IMMA HELP YALL OUT. TAKE CORY OFF OF 3RD BASE AND PUT STONE THERE OR SOMEONE WITH SPEED AND AN ARM. KEEP GREG IN THE DUGOUT CUZ HE LIKES TO INTERFERE WITH THE GAME IN PROGRESS. YOU CAN EVEN PUT HIM IN RIGHT FIELD. YOUR LADIES ARE STRAIGHT, SO YOU CAN INTERCHANGE THEM IN THE FIELD. WORK ON THEIR KICKING, KICKING AND KICKING. NOW THE REST OF THE FELLAS ON THE FIELD ARE TOO DAMN FAST. THAT IS A GIFT AND A CURSE. ON DEFENSE, THEY CANNOT CATCH. IT IS A PROVEN FACT THAT MOST SUPER FAST PEOPLE CANNOT CATCH. I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT IT IS FACT. THEN ON OFFENSE, LET THEM BUNT, BUT YOU HAVE TO SPREAD THEM OUT IN THE LINEUP. THEY CANT BE BEHIND EACH OTHER BUNTING. PUT A KICKER BEHIND THEM. NOW I GAVE YALL THE BLUEPRINT, SO UTILIZE IT. I DID NOT GIVE YALL EVERYTHING, CUZ YALL WON'T GIVE CREDIT IF IT WORKS. AND I ALSO FORGOT TO TELL YOU THAT DO NOT BUNT AGAINST G BALL, CUZ THAT CANNON ARM AT 3RD BASE HAS MANY KILLS. IS IT TRUE THAT JONES MADE YALL LOOK LIKE IDIOTS ON SUNDAY? I WAS TOLD THAT STONE GOT PUT OUT 3 TIMES IN ONE INNING, ON THE SAME DAMN PLAY. SOMEBODY HAS TO EXPLAIN THAT ONE TO ME.
2) ALDINE
I WON'T SAY NOTHING TOO BAD ABOUT YALL CUZ YALL GAVE G BALL A GAME. IF I WERE YOU, I WOULDN'T GO BRAGGING ABOUT THAT THOUGH. I HEAR THAT THEM TORNADOES FEED OFF OF THAT TYPE OF TALK, AND YALL HAVE TO PLAY THEM AGAIN THIS WEEK. YALL ARE LOOKING A WHOLE LOT BETTER THAN PREVIOUS GAMES, BUT STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO. MOST TEAMS STARTED WHERE YOU ARE NOW, THEN IMPROVED AS THE YEARS WENT ON. ONE TEAM EVEN STARTED OFF LIKE YALL AND EVEN WON A CHAMPIONSHIP. SO, I ENCOURAGE YALL TO KEEP WORKING HARD AND PLAY TO UPSET SOME PLAYOFF CHANCES. YALL AINT GETTING OFF THAT EASY THOUGH. I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT SOMEBODY ON THEIR TEAM KNOWS SOME MAGIC. SOMEBODY TRANSFERRED ALL OF ALDINE'S BAD NEWS BEARS PLAYS TO G BALL. I NEVER SEEN ANYHING LIKE IT. G BALL WAS FALLING OVER BASES, GETTING HIT IN THE FACE WITH THE BALL, KICKING THE BALL STRAIGHT IN THE AIR, AND MISSING ROUTINE CATCHABLE BALLS.
3) STERLING
YALL WENT FROM CELEBRATING OFF SEASON CHAMPIONSHIPS TO RETIREMENT. WHEN YALL HAVE TO RESORT TO A FORMER COACH HAVING TO SUIT UP AND PLAY, YOU KNOW ITS TIME TO THROW IN THE TOWEL. WHEN I SEE YALL PLAY, I BE LIKE THAT COACH ON ROCKY WHEN APOLLO CREED'S TRAINER WAS CRYING TO ROCKY WHILE APOLLO WAS GETTING KILLED BY THAT RUSSIAN, " THROW IN THA GOT DAMN TOWEL." NO MORE OUR HOUSE CHANTS, NO MORE GATE CLIMBING, NO MORE WE WILL SEE YALL IN THE PLAYOFFS, NO MORE WE HAVE THE BEST PLAYER, NO MORE FIGHTING ALL DAY ON POST WHEN SOMEONE TALKS ABOUT STERLING, NO MORE LIFE IN OUR HOUSE. SAD, SAD, SAD. WHEN THE FORMER COACH IS THE BEST PLAYER ON THE TEAM, IT'S TIME TO FOLLOW ADE INTO THE UMPIRE FIELD. GIVE IT UP TO BRIAN, CUZ HE BALLED OUT AGAINST G BALL A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO. IF ONLY HE COULD HAVE COACHED LIKE THAT AND KEPT HIS TEAM TOGETHER. WHERE THE HELL IS BALALAH? FAKE ASS FIREFIGHTER.
4) BELLAIRE
JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THAT MAYBE BELLAIRE HAS TURNED THE CORNER, YOU GET BEAT UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH REALITY. THIS TEAM HAD A LIL FLAME ABOUT THEM A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, BUT THAT FLAME DONE TURNED INTO ALL SMOKE. I HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT MY BOY ROBBIE ALL YEAR. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM, BUT HE IS MISSED, ANNOYING VOICE AND ALL. HE MADE THE GAME MORE EXCITING, EVEN THOUGH IT WASN'T WITH COMPETITION. MORE SO FOR THE SHIT TALKING AND MAKING HIM EAT EVERY WORD HE SAID. NOW YALL HAVE A QUIET TEAM THAT HAS NO CLUE OF WHATS GOING ON OUT THERE. THE THIRD BASEMAN PLAYING BEHIND THE BASE AND ALLOWING A POOCH DOWN 3RD BASE LINE. STILL DON'T COME UP CLOSE. THEN YALL HAVE A PITCHER THAT HAS TO BE LIKE A STRAIGHT "A" STUDENT. YALL KNOW REAL SMART PEOPLE DON'T HAVE ANY COMMON SENSE. THIS DUDE KEPT ROLLING THE BALL VERY SLOW, TRYING TO BE LIKE MADISON'S PITCHER. EVERY SINGLE TIME WE JUST POOCHED IT DOWN 3RD BASE, AND WAS SAFE EVERY TIME. COMMON SENSE WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT BULLSHIT AFTER THE FIRST 2 KICKERS GOT ON BASE. BUT NOOOOOOOO, HE WANTS TO DO IT OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER AGAIN. I WAS COACHING 3RD BASE JUST SHAKING MY DAMN HEAD LKE HE JUST DON"T GET IT. SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YALL USE BILL PARCELLS AS A COACH. HE DID NOT KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU TO STOP DOING THAT SHIT. CAN'T GET RIGHT IS THE PITCHER'S NEW NAME. LMAO
5) IKE
SMMFH. HERE IS A TEAM THAT TALKED MORE SHIT LAST YEAR LIKE THEY WERE THE TEAM TO BEAT FOR 2016. NOW IT'S 2016 AND THE SAME OLE SHIT IS HAPPENING. ONE WEEK THEY ARE ON THE TOP 10 LIST AND ON THE DONKEY FOR GETTING PLAYS MADE ON THEM. THE NEXT WEEK THEY ARE ON THE TOP 10 LIST WITH THE BEST PLAYS, THEN BACK ON THE DONKEY FOR GETTING THEIR HEADS BEAT IN. THE BAD THING ABOUT IT IS WE SEEN ALEX SAY WHAT THEY WERE GOING TO DO TO JONES. WORTHING TOLD THEM BOYS THAT THEY HAD TO GO THRU THEM FIRST TO GET TO JONES. THEN MILBY JUST JUMPED IN CUZ THEY DIDN'T LIKE HOW COCKY IKE BE ACTING AND NEVER BEEN TO THE PLAYOFFS. IKE IS SO WORRIED ABOUT GETTING REVENGE ON PEOPLE THAT THEY FORGOT ABOUT THE OTHERS THAT THEY HAD TO FACE. NEWS FLASH IKE, YOU CAN BEAT EVERYBODY ON THAT LIST BUT IT STILL WON'T GET YOU INTO THE PLAYOFFS THIS YEAR. LOOKS AS IF YALL ARE OFFICIALLY ELIMINATED CUZ YALL LOST 3 GAMES, ON THE SAME DAY, TO DIVISION OPPONENTS. AS I SEE IT, THERE AINT NO BOUNCING BACK FROM THAT. NO WONDER WE COULDN'T GET THE SCORES POSTED EARLY BY MIKE WHITE LIKE HE USUALLY DOES. BOY WAS HOTTER THAN FISH GREASE. MIKE, FROM NOW ON CAN YOU LET SOMEONE ELSE POST THE SCORES BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO EMOTIONAL ABOUT LOSING BRO? I SEE YOU TRY TO KEEP IT CALM AND PLAY IT COOL, BUT IT BE WRITTEN ON YOUR FACE AND LACK OF POST. IT'S ALL GOOD, YOU POSTED THE RESULTS CLOSE TO MIDNIGHT, WHICH MADE THE DONKEY LATE. OLE MIKE JUST TRY TO OUTSMART EVERYBODY HUH? YALL WERE GETTING ON THIS DONKEY WHETHER YOU POSTED IT OR NOT. PEOPLE TALK. MAYBE NOT IN TIME, BUT THEY TALK. NICE TRY THOUGH HOMIE. I GUESS 2017 WILL BE YALL'S YEAR. PLEASE KEEP QUIET IF YOU DON'T PLAN ON BACKING UP YOUR WORDS.
6) THA BOARD
UTTER RIDICULOUSNESS AND DISGUSTING TO SAY THE LEAST. COME ON PEOPLE. YALL ARE MAKING THIS HARDER THAN IT HAS TO BE. FAIRNESS FOR ALL TEAMS AND HONESTY IS ALL WE ASK FOR. YOUR SHIT JUST KEEPS PILING UP, AND EVEN THE PEOPLE ON THE INSIDE CAN'T STAND THE SMELL. IT'S TOO MANY PERSONAL AGENDAS IN THIS GROUP, NOT ENOUGH BRAVERY OR BALLS TO MAKE A SOUND DECISION. ABOUT 4 ISSUES MAKES YOU DONKEY WORTHY THIS WEEK.
1------ 3 PEOPLE HAVE QUIT FROM THE BOARD BECAUSE OF SOME INTERNAL ISSUES, OR BEEF. THESE PEOPLE WERE ELECTED, YET WE DON'T KNOW WHY THESE PEOPLE QUIT. WHAT HAPPENED THAT WAS SO BAD AND MADE THEM QUIT? WHY IS IT SUCH A SECRET?
2------- HAVE SEEN YOU ALL FIGHT SO HARD FOR SHIT THAT AINT EVEN IN THE RULES OR BYLAWS, BUT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO THE WRITTEN RULES, YOU DON'T WANT TO ABIDE BY THEM, AND YOU DON'T KNOW THEM. IF WORTHING WAS NOT ABLE TO PROTEST WHAT THEY PROTESTED, THEN WHY WERE THEY TOLD BY A BOARD MEMBER TO PROTEST AND THEY WILL WIN?
3------ HOW DO YOU VOTE ON A NON-PROTESTABLE INCIDENT, TAKE A WEEK TO DELIBERATE, MAKE A DECISION, THEN CHANGE THAT DECISION BASED ON SOMETHING YOU HEARD OR SEEN WITH THE PROTESTING TEAM? HOW CAN YOU SAY BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T HAVE THIS, WE CAN'T GRANT YOU A PROTEST WIN? LAST I CHECKED, THE OTHER TEAM DID NOT PROTEST THE PROTESTING TEAM. SO WHAT IT BOILS DOWN TO IS THAT YALL EITHER WERE SCARED TO MAKE A DECISION AGAINST THE PROTESTED TEAM, OR THE PROTESTED TEAM HAS SOMEONE WORKING ON THE INSIDE THAT SPOILED THE WHOLE PROTEST. DID THE OTHER TEAM PAY $25 TO PROTEST AGAINST THE PROTESTING TEAM OR DID YALL JUST DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE THAT CALL AGAINST THE PROTESTED TEAM? I MEAN, THAT PROTESTED TEAM BEEN PULLING YALL'S HO CORD ALL SUMMER. HAVING TO RESET REGISTRATION DAYS TO APPEASE THEM, MEET THEM AT THEIR DESIGNATED SPOT TO REGISTER THEM CUZ THEY WERE PLAYING IN ANOTHER LEAGUE, AND USING THEIR OWN REGISTRATION FORM INSTEAD OF THE LEAGUE'S FORM. MOST OF ALL, ALL THEIR NAMES AND NUMBERS WERE NOT REGISTERED LIKE THE OTHER 13 TEAMS HAD TO DO. NOW I SEE WHY YALL WERE SCARED TO MAKE A DECISION AGAINST THEM.
4) THE SECRET KEEPING AMONGST YALL HAVE GOTTEN RIDICULOUS THAT NOW YOU ALL WILL BE HELD RESPONSIBLE. WHERE ARE THE RECEIPTS FOR PURCHASES, THE BANK STATEMENTS WHERE THE MONEY IS BEING HELD, OR OLD MONEY THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE ACCOUNT FROM LAST YEAR? WHY DIDN'T THE LEAGUE KNOW THAT EACH YEAR WE GET A DEPOSIT BACK, WHICH COULD HAVE LOWERED OUR TEAM FEES, INSTEAD OF INCREASING IT. FOR THOSE THAT KNEW ABOUT ALL THIS IS EQUALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THESE MISSING FUNDS. I ADVISE YOU TO COME FORWARD, CUZ THIS LEAGUE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT TRANSPARENCY. I KNOW EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU THAT HAS HIDDEN RECEIPTS AND HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR THESE FUNDS, UNLESS THEY ARE MADE UP OR PUT BACK IN ALREADY. PLEASE TELL THE PEOPLE WHAT'S GOING ON, BOARD. SPEAK UP, CUZ WE WANT TO KNOW. DO WE HAVE TO START CALLING OUT NAMES? LMAO, BUT NOT FUNNY. THIS FUCKING OVER OUR OWN PEOPLE HAS TO STOP.
FOR ALL THIS FUCKERY FROM 2015 AND 2016, THE BOARD GETS THE DONKEY OF THE WEEK AWARD.